Days to Graduation: 76

Progress continues apace. Where that pace means twice as slow as I wish it were progressing. But here we are. I’m making edits to two papers, preparing to submit soon, and I’m busily calculating my calculus on no fewer than 920 stars. That’s something.

And meanwhile, I’m trying to decide what to do with the rest of my life.

P.S. 76 days? This is me not panicking.

Days to Graduation: 132

I finished the first draft of my planets paper and sent it off to my collaborator! Hooray! That happened on Thursday, and yesterday and today I have been working on my next application, for a summer internship program in science writing. It's not due until the 15th but I think I will send it out first thing Monday morning, surely a first for me. It's amazing what crazy acts the desire to graduate will engender.

Days to Graduation: 137

After a week spent focusing on an application for a science writing master's program (submitted not one hour ago), I am back on the graduation train. After I spend this afternoon doing all that laundry I let pile up, and running all those errands I neglected, too. Tomorrow, though, right back at it! For sure! Until I fall into writing the next application, which is due the 15th. But hopefully between now and then I can write the introduction and discussion for the planets paper I'm working on.

Days to Graduation: 154

I submitted my job application. I solicited career advice from no fewer than three people who do what I want to do. I took the GRE. I aced it. I derived an absurd amount of self-worth from my scores. I had a massage. I co-cooked dinner. I ate baked goods. What didn't I do this week? Write a single word that will appear in my thesis.

Days to Graduation: 158

Today I decided to submit an application for a job that's due in a week. One week. So I have some writing to do before now and then. (On the bright side, I did submit a job application this past Saturday.) Adding this app to my docket, though, delays the things due on January 4 and 15, but the rate at which I'm churning out application materials when under stress has actually made me less anxious about those January deadlines.

That's what I'm telling myself, anyway.

I've also scheduled my GRE—the only time I could get was 8:30 in the morning EAST COAST TIME on the FIRST DAY after getting in from California. It will be painful. But I'm also secretly looking forward to exercising my trig muscles a bit. Now, about this new-fangled analytical writing section...

Grump.

Explain to me the logic behind GRE scores expiring after 5 years. I got less smart? Sheesh. I know it's my own fault for not reading the application materials closely enough, so my frustration that is currently directed elsewhere is really directed at myself. Why didn't I read this stuff two months ago? Why? Oh, right, I was trying to do science. And graduate.

Days to Graduation: 162

Oy. Not even a little of that bonus writing happened, and for that I am sad. I slept until noon, because I needed to catch up from the Keck observing. And it turns out when you only have twelve hours in a day it’s very difficult to get anything done. I have set my alarm tomorrow, however, out of firm resolve to let today be the only day I spend catching up on sleep. I have things to do, people, things to do.

This evening I found myself toying with the idea of waiting another year to graduate. (It’s possible to un-pull triggers, right? Stuff that bullet back in the barrel? Bounce that check?) I mean, in an economy where smart people I know can't find jobs, do I really want to be moving to New York, of all places, and trying to find work? Sounds just awful. On the other hand, trying to finish my dissertation from New York also sounds... no it sounds dreamy, I can’t type the word awful there. It’d be a lie. I love the idea of holing up in a tiny Manhattan apartment and writing a dissertation. But I need to be realistic about moving on with my life, bad economy or no. I just have to.

Don’t I?